Ready to die?

There are only two ways we can get to paradise: 1. Keep integrity in this wicked world and if the end comes in our lifetime, get to survive into the new world. 2. To die and get resurrected.

Road #1 is probably what we all prepare ourselves for-the great tribulation, staying faithful etc but I've realized that road #2-the one we seldom think of (who wants to think about death right?) is in a way much more probable than the first. Why?
Think about it-though we can witness so many signs, nobody knows when the end will come. Though there is a chance it will be in our lifetimes, the fact is-we could easily die before we witness it. Sometimes, we think of death to be caused by old age or some sickness. We always picture ourselves with families, settled down, maybe with kids, growing old.....but I just realized that our lives can be cut short ANYTIME..that death can overtake us without notice.

Unforeseen occurrences are become more and more rampant-floods, earthquakes, crime, accidents-anything can happen and anyone can be a victim. Coming to think about it, there have been quite a few witnesses who have been victims of such lately. A landslide took one or two witnesses, then came the flood which took another three...It's something we must understand-we are not exempted from these disasters, we have no special 'protection'..

Our protection lies in our hope..I dunno, it's just that the thought of being 'ready to die' has been on my mind a lot recently. So am I ready to die? I'm not sure...And how about the world? Is the world ready to lose me anytime? I wonder...I wonder who would be heartbroken if anything happened to me.. I wonder who'd regret not caring,....

Well, enough of that...I'll just live, laugh, love and treat everyday like it was my last...:)

Those who care

I'm going to call this the ultimate 'mahay' post. Because that's just what it is...me or should I say 'us' (with a few friends involved) 'hurt' in a way at people's 'lack of concern' should I say..

In times like those , you find that the most 'unexpected' turn out to be the ones who 'show they care' and ask you how you are. Those who were miles and miles away, even in other countries had the time to ask about us...Yes, prayers were a big help but at such a time, we all really needed comfort and 'sadly' should I say, not many were REALLY there even those who could've been and we 'expected' to were nowhere to be seen.

We kept on thinking: "Since they didn't even bother to text, how about if we had died ? Would they even know?" It's not like we're 'soliciting comfort' but c'mon!! It was all over the News, international, local-everywhere. The simple fact that we live in the city should have been enough to get them even a little concerned. Couldn't they spare a second of their time just to make sure we were ok?

Then we argue: they must have heard from others that we're ok so they didn't bother. hmm...not very nice. Whatever happened to 'personal interest'?

And even if we said 'we're Ok', couldn't they read between the lines and imagine what we were going through? It somewhat 'hurt' to see 'friend's' act like nothing had happened and go about their lives not even bothering to ask if we're alive.

Maybe we're overacting? Are we? I mean, it was the main headline for the entire week! I just can't seem to believe that someone couldn't care enough to ask about not only ME but the other brothers...

Anyway, gladly, we were too busy to realize it then and now that we have-it's too late....maybe they were just too busy to care..maybe, they did care but didn't show it...maybe they had their reasons....bottom line-NAGMAHAY MI...T.T

Lessons

Sorry guyz but it seems for quite some time, all my posts will be about the flood. The trauma, stress, and everything in between has taught me a lot of lessons. They may not be new but they are proven personally.I just have to let it all out...

1. Live simply. Everything...literally EVERYTHING-cars, furniture, fancy TV sets, expensive clothes, gadgets was useless and ended up as junk after the flood. The less you have, the less you have to lose. Not to mention the easier the cleaning job afterward. If I ever have a house in this world- I'll only have one set of plates and cups (I'll get paper plates for parties) and minimal furniture. Accumulating wealth is just NOT WORTH IT. All your years of work and saving gone in a single night.

2. Don't look back. Many of those who lost their lives had already left but returned for some reason. Some to make sure the house was locked, others to get some valuable they forgot. When disaster strikes, forget about everything else and just escape with whatever you have on. No life is worth whatever valuables that were saved.

3. Listen and Obey. Sadly, the story of the 3 witnesses who lost their lives goes that they were warned many times, even visited by brothers to tell them to leave but they failed to heed their warning. Before they knew it, the water was too high and they had no way out. They were found inside their house-dead.

4. Pray and Pray. It's amazing how all the brothers who survived said that they didn't cry, they just PRAYED and PRAYED. That's what gave them a calm mind to think of a way out-that's what saved their lives. While others were panicking, they were praying. Some stories are 'unbelievable'. You'd never think of doing such things but they did simply because they prayed.:)

5. Jehovah provides abundantly. Many of the brothers who survived escaped only with their lives. No house, NOTHING. In the beginning, we were wondering how we could take care of all these brothers. We'd already used whatever funds we had and provided for a day or so but what then? Jehovah's hand is not short, in fact this is an understatement.





When relief goods started pouring in, there were times we thought it was the last truck, container van but brothers just kept on sending! Up to now, we have no idea what to do with the clothes that arrived-all the brothers have already probably changed their wardrobe and we still have tons of clothes! Rice? Maybe 20 sacks or more...noodles and cans? Boxes and boxes..the relief center couldn't take all the goods-we now have a '2nd center'!

5. Love abounds. We are not the only organization that had relief operations. In fact, almost everyone I know in the city was involved in some sort of relief. The only thing that sets us apart is LOVE. We take the food, water, clothing to the brothers homes while they pass it out on the streets. We wade in knee deep mud just to help cleaning their houses while they shake their heads and take pictures. These are things only Jehovah's organization does. Brothers had tears in their eyes whenever the goods were delivered- Jehovah was providing for them daily. Neighbors looked on and admired the love ONLY we show.

6.The end is near. In the public talk last week, Jesus words in Luke 21:31 was emphasized. "When you SEE these things ...KNOW the kingdom of God is NEAR". I've heard it on the news, seen it on TV, read it in the paper but actually SEEING it is some kind of a 'jolt'. The end is indeed extremely near. It's nearer than we think. Meaning? Personally, I realized there is really no time to 'worry' about things like love, marriage etc. Whatever happens, happens and weather we are ready for it or not, events are in motion leading to the end of this world.

7. What really matters. This was emphasized in the funeral talk of the 2 SP's. The speaker said that they had 'built a good name with Jehovah' and were 'safe in HIs memory'. How about me? Can I safely say that If I die I will be 'safe in Jehovah's memory'? Well, it's double time in building that name for me now:)

8.Power beyond normal. There is definitely no way any of us could have done what we did without extraordinary strength. At times I wondered if I would be able to wake up to another day of relief operations, I felt my body 'giving up'. I wondered how our brothers could still have the strength to do their talks and conduct the meetings. But amazingly, all of us stayed fit enough to continue, all of us somehow had strength for the day.We just joked that 'we were running on the power of the Holy spirit' because our physical bodies were overworked and there is nothing else that could have kept us going for so long.


Well, nobody should have to experience what we did to realize these lessons. If there's a good side to being able to, it would be drawing closer to Jehovah and his organization, realizing how crucial our times are and how close we are to eternal relief=)

..words fail me..

Where to start? I've lost my sense of time since that day. But I'll try and put this together as chronologically as I can. Friday night it happened but the horrors started Saturday morning. I was still half asleep when Kuya Dex called from the gate..."Emz, there's been a tragedy. People are dead, lots missing and I can't contact some of our brothers...ASAP go to the Kingdom Hall and wait for instructions". No time to think about breakfast and off to the KH I went. That's where I heard all sorts of stories. That's when we all turned into Zombies-no time to eat, no time to think, no time to feel.

Finally our ride came and we jumped at the back of the pickup off to our sisters place. Any words that we had just weren't enough to describe what we saw. Everyone on the street covered in mud. Barefoot with expressionless faces. Some with bloody wounds, cuts and bruises. Some crying looking for their loved ones. Men, women, rich, poor, foreigners, animals- whatever barriers existed where broken-disaster creates such equality. The entire city in shock. No smiles, no talking just silence and tears.

When we arrived at the 'affected area' where our sister lived, we were preparing for the worst. Maybe we'd find them all safe..I prayed that they were. Their house was among the first to be hit since it was relatively close to the river. The houses quite far were devastated- I couldn't imagine how theirs was.Then was the stench. Dead animals everywhere-a pile of pigs here..a pile of dogs there, a horse stuck by a pole. Not to mention the two corpses pulled out of the river while we were there. People sitting outside what used to be their home clearly not knowing what to do, where to start.

Gladly, she and her family were safe-covered in mud, in a state of shock but safe. They somehow made their way to the rooftop during the night. But the house...




TV, internet-the media in general can portray facts and live footage but they can't portray feelings. I do shed tears when I read some sad, tragic story or watch it on TV but the emotions I felt then were too much for tears. None of us cried. I'm sure we wanted to but we couldn't. There was just so much to be done, others where homeless, had lost loved ones-crying wouldn't help. Our bodies just switched to zombie mode-work, work, work-do what has to be done...eating when we were reminded to.

People asked me how I was doing and I just answered "I'm OK". I was not OK but I didn't know what I was or how I felt and 'OK' seemed to satisfy them anyway. The truth is my heart literally ached (not Over acting here), I couldn't relate any story without breaking down in tears, I choked, holding tears back whenever I heard survival stories. I was barely holding myself together-we all were.

Everywhere you go, that's all you hear-how people watched their neighbors disappear with the current, how a mother accidentally let go of her child and watched her cry 'mamaaaa' as the waters took her, how families were separated and still couldn't find each other. In jeepneys, everyone just stared at nothing, absorbed in their own thoughts.

At meetings, brothers had to pause, silently sobbing when they prayed. Songs were sung 'softly' everyone trying their best not to cry but tears still run down our faces. Nobody was prepared and few hands went up. Everyone was trying to absorb the material and comfort themselves. It was just too overwhelming-even in the positive sense. Witnessing how Jehovah's organization responds in such situations and how Jehovah really takes care of His people is more than words can describe.

Sleep came hard. I'd lie awake at night exhausted but scared to fall asleep and have to wake up in waist deep water. I'd keep on thinking how I'd get to the roof if ever it happened. I'd be replaying in my mind all the stories I'd heard and putting myself in their shoes. Would I have survived? Was I 'ready' to die? Would Jehovah remember me if I did? Could I live with such horrors in my mind?

Days passed fast. I can't really remember what happened from Monday to Friday. But I do remember the Comfort talks where on Tuesday. Supposedly for those 'directly affected' by the flood but we all needed comfort and how many dry eyes there were afterward-probably none. It's like everyone wished they could stay and just be with Jehovah's people so they did stay up to really late. It felt like a mini assembly during the thousand year reign, just after Armageddon.

I sometimes wish people really understood how it feels to be in such a situation but at the same time I'm glad they don't.

Is this normal?

'I wish I could have a NORMAL life!'. I've found myself thinking that a lot. For some reason, I feel like this is not how a 'normal' girl my age should live. That my life is far off from being normal. After much speculation, I realized this:

What exactly does 'normal' mean? Should I be away from home at the peak of my career with my own house? Or should I be married and starting to raise a family? Or maybe a spoiled daughter who doesn't have to worry about working, who can get whatever she wants without any sacrifice? Can these be considered 'normal' situations?

True, I may have experienced things that not many people that age have but it's not like I'm the only one in the world who has. And true, many others are in totally different situations but many others are in my shoes as well.

I have concluded that my life is normal after all. I am what I am and where I am by choice-that makes me normal. That 'normal' simply means what your life is at present. Unless you have some disability or chronic disease that hinders/prevents you from doing things others could if they wanted to-YOU ARE NORMAL. As long as you have the choice to change your circumstance whenever you like-YOU ARE NORMAL.

So if I end up away from home, with a family or whatever other scenario you can think of, then that would be normal as well. :)

24

There is much one can learn in 24 years on this planet. It may be in the friendship area, lovey dovy part of life or some other aspect. I think most of the lessons we learn though have to do with family life. For 24 years I’ve stayed with my family and have observed a lot of things that I will now put into writing. I don’t know if they are true in the absolute sense but they are simply my vision of what goes on in the mind of a married man and woman. (char!)

When a man gets home exhausted from a day at work, all he WANTS is a ‘hello kiss’ with a ‘how was your day’ follow up. This is HIS time. You are now to make him comfortable, get him relaxed, get his stomach filled and listen. You can share your day later. IT is NOT the time to remind him about all the bills and whatever is on your mind…that can and should wait. He needs some quite time.

When a man wants to spend time with ‘the boys’, it doesn’t mean he’s ‘irresponsible’ or ‘less of a family man’. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like your company. It is just him being a MAN. In as much as he loves you and all, he must spend time with the boys. This is what makes him a man. This is what keeps him SANE. It is your job to find something to do and let him and his boys enjoy the bottle.

When a woman asks which dress to wear, she knows you really don’t mind. She’s only asking because she values YOUR opinion. If you really don’t have any ‘sense of fashion’ just pick whichever she seems to like. It’ll make her feel like she’s dressing up for you. But YOU MUST PICK!

When a man is in a bad mood, SILENCE is the best policy especially when it has something to do with you. You must give him time to cool down. He isn’t a woman who loves to talk about feelings.

When a woman is in a bad mood because of something you said or did, it usually isn’t really about that. IT’s all about how what you said or did made her FEEL. Women are all about feelings. You don’t have to apologize for whatever it is you did or said if you were right but you CAN and SHOULD apologize for how it made her feel.

When a man tells you you’re cooking sucked, he is just being HONEST. There is no need to be dramatic and give him the silent treatment. He didn’t mean to deride you; he was simply speaking his mind. This is the part where you ask what’s wrong and promise to do better in the future. No justifications.

When you’re talking and your man says he’s ‘tired, he means he wants you to SHUT UP and give him a back rub. Women’s blabbering can get on men’s nerves. It’s not that he’s not interested in what you have to say, it’s just more of a ‘not now’ cue.

When a woman corrects you about the way you leave your shoes in the wrong place or don’t close the shampoo cap, they don’t mean to nag. They are simply trying to keep the place neat so don’t take it too personal. Just be a good boy and put your stuff wherever she wants it put and apologize while your at it.

When a woman gets moody beyond the normal, blame the period. A woman is entitled to be a nagger, emotional wreck and get on your nerves at least once a month. Everything done or said here is not counted. And you, the man should simply let it pass.

I could go on and on but I’ll leave it at this….Nobody can have a perfect marriage in an imperfect world. So will these observations be of any use then? You’ve got to start somewhere right? So I’m starting with head knowledge. ..I’ll see where to go from there...

Girl Break

I love my girls. They're fun, enthusiastic, spiritual minded, fun..fun..fun..But it seems I always have to get some break from them. Well, we spend practically the whole weekend together from preaching to lunch to extras afterward but it sometimes gets..how to put it-'annoying'/'irritating'? Not in the super negative way just in the 'i need a break kind of way'.

Sometimes they come up with the 'silliest' jokes that even I-a fellow girl can't get. It's a Sunday lunch break moment, when I get out of the Kh, they're laughing like crazy. And i mean literally CRAZY! When they explain why, I can barely fake a smile. It just seemed to be one of the 'silliest' things to laugh about. And it seemed that I was the only girl around who thought so..Until the guyz came out and we just looked at each other in amazement..

It was like being with another species!And i'm thinking 'if i'm a girl, aren't i supposed to be on that side of the planet laughing like crazy as well?' But I just couldn't- there was simply nothing 'funny' about it...Gladly, the guys thought so too so I temporarily 'changed gender' here.

Then during the after preaching moments, we're watching a Russel Peters show which is a huge LOL,and viola- only two of us girls stayed..and i was seriously laughing my heart out.. The others simply couldn't get it and walked out..Now what's with that?? Am I on the 'wrong side' again?

I dunno, I really dunno. I love my girls, but there are times when one needs a 'break' that only guys can give.

Girls (I don't know if this is too much of a generalization though) can be kinda crazy sometimes while guys always seem to be able keep their heads together..Girls know how to have fun but sometimes their fun isn't funny at all..

Well, I'm just glad to be able to enjoy the BEST OF BOTH WORLDS..^-^