The Promise (Tracy Chapman)

If you wait for me
then I'll come for you
Although I've traveled far
I always hold a place for you in my heart

If you think of me
If you miss me once in awhile
Then I'll return to you
I'll return and fill that space in your heart

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
If you'll be waiting

If you dream of me
L like I dream of you
In a place that's warm and dark
In a place where I can feel the beating of your heart

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
If you'll be waiting

I've longed for you
A and I have desired
To see your face your smile
To be with you wherever you are

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I'll find my way back to you
Please say you'll be waiting

Together again
It would feel so good to be
In your arms
Where all my journeys end
If you can make a promise
If it's one that you can keep
I vow to come for you
If you wait for me

And say you'll hold
A place for me
I in your heart.


I soooo love this song....:)

Innocence is Bliss

Even the bible says for us to ‘mind your own business ‘ (1 Thess 4:11). I’ve just come to see the wisdom in these words. I have always been someone who in a way knows almost ‘everything’ going on in almost ‘everyone’s’ life. I was like a huge box of secrets…For some reason, things have changed. Maybe people have changed; maybe I have-maybe both. I am no longer the person who knows what’s happening and in fact seem to be quite opposite-someone who  is oblivious to whatever is happening around me. Someone who is innocent and thinks everything is going well….

I’m actually enjoying this newfound ‘innocence’ of mine.  Knowing sometimes just makes life a lot harder-you end up  with so many things to consider, your actions aren’t natural anymore, you always have to keep your tongue in check and make sure you don’t slip and say something you ought not to.

Now, I can stay my happy self, treat people equally, not have to hold  my tongue back due to some ‘secret’ I hold. Now, I can smile, laugh without being affected with whatever issues are unfolding. Yes, I do (only when given some hint) understand when something is going on. (People not talking to each other..etc) but my not knowing  doesn’t taunt me at all. 

I don’t really want to know the latest issues. I don’t want to have to take sides in some kind of ‘show of loyalty’. And I certainly don’t want to end up with a sober face, losing my happiness like they seem to be doing.

Innocence is indeed bliss. Don’t I care? Don’t I want to help and give my ‘advice’ ? Don’t I want to try and help make things right? yes- I care but I have this theory: -IF I AM SUPPOSED TO KNOW SOMETHING, I WOULD. IF I DON’T, IT SIMPLY MEANS I DON’T REALLY NEED TO KNOW…if the time comes that I DO NEED TO KNOW, THEN I WOULD..

I am finally accepting the fact that some things are really NOT MY BUSINESS period. No matter how ‘close’ I feel I am to some person, I am coming to terms with the fact that they don’t NEED to tell me everything, that they are entitled to keep some things to themselves. That friendship doesn’t entitle one to UNLIMITED knowledge and that they have every right to keep their ‘secrets’ and I simply have to accept and respect that…..

As to the cause of this revelation of mine, I’m blaming my mid 20’s again…:D

VIP #1 Ma m8

Ok, so since I’ve apparently misplaced my ‘box of secrets’ and can’t seem to find all those corny poems of mine, I’ve come up with an alternative that is just as corny (maybe even more).I shall give ‘tribute’ to the VIP’s in my life one by one……So this one’s for my m8..

This won’t be about personality stuff (he hates those things) so it’ll simply be about his being a VIP in my life…

First off, m8 is hmm….in a way ‘always’ there considering the miles I mean. For some reason, he pops out at very appropriate times like when I need to blabber about something, or when I’m extremely bored or maybe a little emotional…etc. And has therefore been there in some of the you know….’down’ shall we put it, times in my life….

I know at times he really doesn’t have time for my ‘nonsense’ (I can be extremely silly and perhaps even annoying) but nevertheless he puts up with my blabbering (it’s usually all I need) and when I’m done, I’m good as new and he can get back to more serious stuff..:D

I admit, he gets on my nerves at times but since he happens to get so much amusement from it, I can’t help but let it go. Then are the times he lets me think that I’m such a genius’ (like when I have some idea or think I know something) though he probably knows far better. He tries not to ‘burst my bubble’ but just lets me be and I’m betting maybe laughs at me silently. (I don’t blame him though..haha)

He makes me smile-more like laugh like crazy at times with his corny, sometimes silly jokes or experiences. And multiple times I find myself with a lot of to people around me curious about what’s made me laugh so hard (like they’d understand ey?) So that makes him one of my ‘happy drugs’ right next to ice-cream (hard to beat the accessibility of ice-cream .hahha)

If I were stranded on some remote island, he’d be one of the few people I’d choose to be with. If I were Megamind, I’d use my hydro gun on him so he could stay travel size:D If I were Mr Fredrickson,’ I’d take him to Paradise Falls with me. If I were Gru, he’d be Dr. Nefario (minion would be a little harsh..hahaha)… And he is also one of the reasons I wish I was a jumper with ‘teleporting’ powers……

Simply put, m8 is one of the few people I hope stays in my life and if he for some reason decides to ‘walk out’, he’d better start training an apprentice to take his place..OR ELSE!

And there goes VIP #1….TNXCHU 4 EVERYTHING YOU DID, ARE DOING AND WILL DO…. xox

Mid 20's Crisis?

I know there’s what they call ‘Midlife-crisis’ but I am diagnosing myself with ‘mid 20’s crisis’ (far off from anywhere close to midlife’). For some reason, I’ve just been feeling that everything is getting too ‘old’. I’m tired of my life (in a way). That feeling when you just find yourself doing the same routine over and over and over……again. Nothing’s fun, new or exciting anymore-it’s just BORING!

Ok, I know I have my ways of staying happy and I am. But it’s just OLD. Same people, same stuff, everything just the way it was yesterday. NO adventures, no meeting new people, no talking about new stuff (nothing new to talk about).

Suddenly, this has all just come crushing down on me. I’m seriously ‘over’ this place, ‘tired’ of the people in it and ‘bored’ with it all. My life has always had some kind of ‘adventure’ in it and ok yeah with my job I guess there are some bits of excitement there and there’s the ever challenging ministry but that’s it. Everything else is again-OLD.

I keep finding myself wishing to be someplace else (anywhere but CDO) with new people trying out new things. Getting to start from the beginning with friendships-you know, ‘hi’ ‘hellow’…getting to know each other kinda stuff. And the place? How about getting lost for once?….Going places you’ve never been…

I dunno, maybe it’s because people I’ve been with have moved on with their lives and I seem to be stuck in the same place ‘til now. And I find myself in a way ‘not belonging’ anymore.

This is probably why I savor all the moments I get to be away with new people, doing new stuff….and speaking of that-September is around the corner!!! But then, that’s just like one day. Vacations don’t get me refreshed, the make me wish I never had to go home..I wonder if that’s a good sign.

I don’t hate this place or the people in it. Change is inevitable- I know that and perhaps that’s what’s ‘wrong’…The world, people keep changing while I seem to stay motionless. It’s like you reach a point when you’ve done ‘everything’ everybody else is getting excited about, ‘felt’ whatever they’re feeling, ‘experienced’ whatever they have and basically ‘done it all’!

My list of options keeps on growing: go some remote place to volunteer, transfer cities all together (I’m old enough aren’t I?), get myself hitched, or one that just gives me Goosebumps-GO BACK TO ZAMBIA’!!-now wouldn’t that be an adventure?

Well, in a nutshell, I’ve somehow hit a wall and will keep walking around it until I find myself someplace new, with someone new, doing something new (new here defined as not from/in CDO) Til then it’s back to reality for me…

High School Corniness 1

I've come up with this idea to 'honor' those good old high school times. I'll be posting some corny stuff (poems, things done) that people I know did back then...gotta give ourselves some credit for surviving those hormones ey? So here's the time we sit back and laugh at ourselves. Here's something from Mr. Mermaid (not bad for High school i should say). I'm gonna have to find my corny stuff now...

ADIEU!

By: Ariel Parcon Jr.

I will not let my time be stained
By the memories of you
I will forget you
And erase the thoughts,
The person I knew,
The eyes I've always wanted to
Stare through time
I will blot out the feelings
Push away the raging emotions
Make silent the anger and love.
I will forget you
Your eyes will no longer haunt me
Your presence will not chill nor warm me
You will fade away
I will leave you, as you seem to have left me
Leave the unanswered hopes,
Surreal dreams
And I will smile.... ADIEU!

Well, that was one of Mr Parcon's poetic H.S moments.. Thanks for sharing!! Well? What was the corniest/sweetest/craziest thing you did in high school??

....YOU MAKE ME HAPPY....

It's the heart on your sleeve never making me wonder It's the bond that we tie up and over and under You're the sun and the rain and my grass is always green With a kiss on my cheek, always letting me know I'm the birds and the bees I'm the apple in your eye I know that you know that I know you're all I need

And just when I thought it couldn't get any better There you go and do it all again Hope this feeling never ends

'Cause you You make me happy You You make me happy

It's the sound of your voice at the end of the phone line A tickle in my toes just to know that you're all mine Like an ice cream sundae with a cherry on the top It's the look in your eyes when I'm wearing your t-shirt Your cute little smile after a long day of hard work And I know that you know that I can't give you up

And just when I thought it couldn't get any better There you go and do it all again Hope this feeling never ends

'Cause you You make me happy You You make me happy

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better There you go and do it all again Hope this feeling never ends

You You make me happy You You make me happy You You make me happy You You make me happy

Lindsey Ray - You Make Me Happy

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A change of Mind

I’ve always believed that friends DON’T‘ mind their own business’ because they care. Real friends want to know what’s happening in your life not just for the sake of knowing but so that they can somehow help you. THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR right? Well I’m starting to have second thoughts on that ideal.

Is it my fault that ‘her’ guys flock to me and spill the beans? Hey, I don’t even have to probe them, they just go ‘ate emz..blah blah blah’. And what do you expect me to do? Cover my ears and tell them to rant someplace else?

Is it my fault that over and over again, these guys have so much ‘negative’ stuff to say? And who am I to say that they’re wrong when they probably know more than me not to mention the fact that these are not single incidents but reoccurring ones.

When they come to me for advice, am I wrong to let them know some ‘weaknesses’ or do you expect me to say ONLY the good stuff?? Hey, I CARE for both of them and as far as I know, everything I ever said was only for their good. And you know what? IF they had listened to my advice which went something like: “you’re both too young for these kind of things….how about you stay ‘just friend’s ‘ and see how things go in the future” NOBODY would have ended up hurt. And now I’m the bad guy?

Is it my fault that for some reason I only end up knowing these things from the other party? That I end up knowing all the 'tiny' details from them?

OK enough about whose fault it is already. My point is it seems in some people’s books, being a friend means minding your own business, not giving any advice, not saying anything negative, just leaving things the way they are and waiting for the fireworks to start.

But hey, I’m flexible and rather tired of all the drama. Yep, IT”S NOT MY LIFE (I know that-always have) and NOPE, I won’t die of “not knowing” and so maybe I’ll just sit back and get on with my uncomplicated life….Goodbye counselor, Goodbye ate, Goodbye to my definition of friend…

From now on, ‘FRIEND” means ‘hi’ ‘hello’s, having good times together and NEVER talking about personal stuff right? RIGHT! Would’ve saved myself a lot of headaches if I had done this earlier but you know me, ever concerned, ever helpful but all for nothing…Shall we shake on this? Coz You’ve got yourself a deal….^_^