Wise Vs Indecisive

I’ve been staying up a lot lately and one of things that has busied my mind is: “Am I indecisive?” Yes, I do like to do a lot of self-examination and this is my latest issue. Why does it seem that I’m so into ‘something/someone’ this minute (a couple of months) then I’m totally over it/them and into something else in a snap? Isn’t that what being indecisive means?

Well, after a lot of tossing and turning I have realized that there is a huge difference between being or trying to be ‘wise’ and being ‘indecisive’. The latter would make a decision hastily then come to his senses and try to undo it or find a way out. I don’t think I could be considered this way at all! In fact, I may even be quite the opposite. I tend to ‘test the water’ a number of times before deciding to jump.

Ok so you like me..And I guess I like you too. But I don’t jump. I give it time but all the while people think that I’ve somehow ‘decided’ already. (Probably coz I’m Blabbering all the ‘good stuff’ about it to my friends-have the tendency to see all the positive sides of a person) then it happens. The “big bang” and I decide to tip toe slowly away in the opposite direction. Then people notice and I explain… Do you really expect me to continue on a course has shown itself to be ‘fuzzy’? That may sound like being ‘decisive’ but it’s rather STUPID- a word I don’t want to end up using to describe myself..:D

So NO! I hereby declare myself not indecisive but in a way wise. And yes, I do have ample proof that my ‘tip toeing’ away was for the better. A few have ended up with let’s say-’not so happy endings’ so I’m surely glad I jumped off before the ship sank.LOL

I don’t care that I’m kinda getting ‘older’ and with my ‘giving it time’ and ‘tip toeing’ way of doing things I may end up ‘free’ ( so-called ‘single for life’ )..But I definitely don’t mind (not that I prefer it though-kind of ‘sour grapes’ line this is .hahaha). Call me ‘picky’ (im really not by the way:D) or whatever you want. I’d rather stay single than ‘ruin’ my life with the next ‘crazy’ guy that comes my way! But if he’s not crazy then……

Doubts

Nothing we decide to do will have a 100% success rate.We don't actually really know what the result of our decisions will be.Of course you evaluate, meditate,plan and do everything in your power to come up with a final decision but it's always a make or break.Some things you can't forsee and only realize once you're there.If you can change your mind and back out-great. But some things are more permanent.Weather you take the chances or not all depends on your motive and how strong your desire is to do it.If your motives are pure,unselfish and desire strong-nothing will stop you and you'll be ready to face anything.

Sometimes, you know what you have to do but don't do it.Maybe it's a fear of change, or uncertainty of the consequences or maybe simple procrastination that usually goes too far or perhaps you get too comfortable with your current lifestyle and situation that you forget to make the change.No matter how noble or right the decision may seem,you always have second thoughts-'what ifs' cloud your mind and peoples' reactions start to cause you to doubt the logic in your decision.What then?Deafen your ears and convince yourself over and over again that you're doing the right thing.

So am I having second thoughts?I wouldn't be writing this if I weren't:D Am I making the right decision?Definitely Yes.Am I sure of success?Not really.Do I have everything planned out?Nope.So what exactly am I thinking then if I have all these doubts?I'm making time for more important things, I'm keeping my promise, I'm 'testing' JH,I'm simplifying my life ,I'M DOING WHAT IS RIGHT..it's now or never *_*





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