Fathers and Daughters

Any father or daughter knows the special relationship they have.NO. I wouldn't call it favoritism though sometimes that's exactly what it amounts to.It's just a unique connection fathers and daughters share usually throughout their lives. Laughs just between the two of them, cute teasing, small talk-everything is just something you don't share with anybody else. No wonder father's are so protective of their daughters! Any other man whom she shows interest in has the potential of replacing them as 'the special person' in their daughters life.And daughters spoiled by dads.No wonder the biggest barrier any man has to go through is the girls father!I bet all father's would love to get to pick their son-in-laws!lol.That's why girls make sure to let their dads meet their guys first-a way of asking "approve"?or "disprove"? And guys, believe me-girls totally believe their dads and sometimes take their opinions as facts so better court the father before the girl!:) No wonder fathers cry at their daughters weddings!They no longer can protect their daughters from everything-they're on their own. The connection they've had since their birth has to change. And no wonder girls love their father's so much.^_^.Like the saying goes: "Dad - a son's first hero, a daughter's first love".

Past is Past

"Past is Past" is a so commonly used phrase.It got me thinking what people really mean when they say that. Maybe some mean "let's not talk about it", when confronted with memories they'd rather forget- suppressing their past. Others use it as a way of saying "I don't care who you were before, that's in the past". Now this one I find tricky. If the person was a thief for example, just got out of jail and now is courting you-doesn't his past matter??His past is too scary to be simply forgotten!His 'past' is still too recent. But then how about if that was ten years ago?He's been clean for the past 9 yrs, is his past, past?So the question is when can you safely say a person's past is past??It's a fact that your past would have and effect on you as a person, either for the good or bad-it matters!

Ok, let's not talk about criminals for a sec.How about if he's got a history of short-term relationships or she's notorious for being a 'heart-breaker' wouldn't knowing this change a lot?Or would you say-"past is past" and fall for the person anyway?That might be tragic!But how about if for the past few years that 'history' is broken?They've behaved.SO here's the dilemma-what's the time frame?How many years back should you count before you can determine which part of the past doesn't matter-when is past really past?

Diamonds are forever

Memories are like stones. Some have gold-are shiny then later fade and need polishing.Just like good times with friends and family we remember for a couple of months then forget until at one time we stop and polish them and they regain their value. Others have ordinary minerals in them, memories we don't really treasure, where nothing special happened. Some are just stones, simple useless stones-memories we'd rather not recall. But others are diamonds-they last forever.I've never had a diamond memory until a month ago at the PSS and I miss every thing about it:(


I miss waking up at 5am to take a bath just as scheduled
I miss riding in the car with the kids(our fav.song plays when we arrive and have to come out!)
I miss being the first to arrive at the class
I miss Kuya Leynard giving us a fruit a day for our punctuality(apple, orange,watermelon.:D)
I miss seeing everyones smile as they enter the room-so fresh^_^
I miss changing tables everyday
I miss 'Insight boy's' enlightening comments
I miss trying to get everyone's names and surnames right
I miss Kuya Warren interchanging our family names
I miss cramming during coffee breaks(copying from classmates.lol)
I miss the teasing and name calling(with 'you know'*_*)
I miss eating with chopsticks-(the kimchi and jap dishes.yummy)
I miss cracking jokes with OLA
I miss OLA :((
I miss being cheezy with Hany("there's something fishy"lol)
I miss the walk to La paella (posing for pics while walking.haha)
I miss La Paella (so deli food!!)
I miss Kuya Garcia asking us how our day was :(
I miss Trisha ("you're soo cute")
I miss borrowing Reg's Macbook (soo hard to figure out!lol)
I miss pretty Reg:D
I miss wearing a smile 24/7
I miss attending the Jap group(Andrew giving me answers :/)
I miss Bro Kamasawa praying in English no matter what
I miss Bro Kamasawa
I miss Bro Solbaken's super funny jokes(didn't look like the funny type at first)
I miss vandalizing everyone's books
I miss Ate Nancy's creative works-bookmarks, bracelets
I miss Fiona's making funny faces when posing (never ever smiled!lol)
I miss Fiona
I miss drawing on the white board
I miss Kuya Leynards illustrations
I miss making plans of after class stuff but never doing them.hahaha
I miss watching everyone find a way to take a nap-all those positions!lol
I miss ate Abby's cool, nice voice
I miss ate Abby
I miss ata Lyns' contagious laugh
I miss Bro Santiago's fatherly advice (single life is a gift^_*)
I miss the Biron's endless teasing (finding candidates for my "Absalom".hehe)
I miss Chiara and KC's cute talks (wish i had a sis:)
I miss hiding the pushpins for the table cloth's on top of the aircon.:Dlol
I miss cleaning the marble floor (it's the only work we get to do!)
I miss riding with the kids back home,talking about our days(we're sooo spoiled$_$)
I miss our room!(had violet covers when we left:( )
I miss the noisy ride home after the meetings (everyone so kilig about me and___;))
I miss listening to 'life in jail' experiences ( so encouraging @_@)
I miss carrying the reference bible everyday(like some genious!)
I miss the parrot at La Paella!!( pangit!Pangit!lol)
I miss Kuya James ever ready illustrations(touch=electricity)
I miss everything and everyone I haven't mentioned and anything in between!!!!

Ten days,24/7 with people who share the same goals,face the same challenges, have the same values.No worries.Just perfect bliss.They say "it's a small world" but it's simply not small enough.I wish the people in my diamond memory where just a walk away.I wish we could see each other every day. I wish the ten days were "a day for a year"! I wish I could turn back time whenever I feel low to my days of total happiness. I wish I could do everything all over again.I JUST MISS IT ALL SO MUCH!

Call me sentimental,call me emo, call me corny-whatever you like.It's something you have to experience to understand.

I know my wish is just around the corner to coming true then I'll relive my diamond memory forever:)For now, I'll just continue collecting stones and maybe add to my diamond collection.

Sometimes

Sometimes things have to change for the better. Sometimes you have to convince yourself "it's better this way". Sometimes no matter how much you try, you end up longing for the way things were, wishing you could turn back time, make the sun, moon and stars just freeze in their paths! Well, this is one of those times.

I know I cannot and should not treat him the way I used too.I couldn't if I tried!I know I'm doing the right thing but I don' think I'm doing it right. I would've wanted things to stay the way they were but I'm glad things have changed. I'd like to just to be able to talk to him like everyone does-normally, freely, but I'm afraid I'd say the wrong things, act a little too concerned and fall all over again! So I simply stay away-as far as possible as I can, act like he doesn't exist and get on with my life-I'm very good at doing that.I do talk to him but only when absolutely necessary-life and death situations.lol.It just feels wrong!!

Do I care for him?NO-at least not like before.Do I resent him?NO-no reason to.Do I still hurt?mmmm....it's been about a year already! I mean cummon! Maybe, just maybe I'm simply scared.Scared I'd fall and repeat the same cycle I've gone through countless times.But is that a good excuse? I know he's noticed, I know he tries to break my walls down and I'm sure he isn't happy with how distant we've become but maybe things are better this way. Maybe I shouldn't want to turn back time and maybe this 'sometime' is just me thinking too much.