Sometimes

Sometimes things have to change for the better. Sometimes you have to convince yourself "it's better this way". Sometimes no matter how much you try, you end up longing for the way things were, wishing you could turn back time, make the sun, moon and stars just freeze in their paths! Well, this is one of those times.

I know I cannot and should not treat him the way I used too.I couldn't if I tried!I know I'm doing the right thing but I don' think I'm doing it right. I would've wanted things to stay the way they were but I'm glad things have changed. I'd like to just to be able to talk to him like everyone does-normally, freely, but I'm afraid I'd say the wrong things, act a little too concerned and fall all over again! So I simply stay away-as far as possible as I can, act like he doesn't exist and get on with my life-I'm very good at doing that.I do talk to him but only when absolutely necessary-life and death situations.lol.It just feels wrong!!

Do I care for him?NO-at least not like before.Do I resent him?NO-no reason to.Do I still hurt?mmmm....it's been about a year already! I mean cummon! Maybe, just maybe I'm simply scared.Scared I'd fall and repeat the same cycle I've gone through countless times.But is that a good excuse? I know he's noticed, I know he tries to break my walls down and I'm sure he isn't happy with how distant we've become but maybe things are better this way. Maybe I shouldn't want to turn back time and maybe this 'sometime' is just me thinking too much.