Finally our ride came and we jumped at the back of the pickup off to our sisters place. Any words that we had just weren't enough to describe what we saw. Everyone on the street covered in mud. Barefoot with expressionless faces. Some with bloody wounds, cuts and bruises. Some crying looking for their loved ones. Men, women, rich, poor, foreigners, animals- whatever barriers existed where broken-disaster creates such equality. The entire city in shock. No smiles, no talking just silence and tears.
When we arrived at the 'affected area' where our sister lived, we were preparing for the worst. Maybe we'd find them all safe..I prayed that they were. Their house was among the first to be hit since it was relatively close to the river. The houses quite far were devastated- I couldn't imagine how theirs was.Then was the stench. Dead animals everywhere-a pile of pigs here..a pile of dogs there, a horse stuck by a pole. Not to mention the two corpses pulled out of the river while we were there. People sitting outside what used to be their home clearly not knowing what to do, where to start.
Gladly, she and her family were safe-covered in mud, in a state of shock but safe. They somehow made their way to the rooftop during the night. But the house...
TV, internet-the media in general can portray facts and live footage but they can't portray feelings. I do shed tears when I read some sad, tragic story or watch it on TV but the emotions I felt then were too much for tears. None of us cried. I'm sure we wanted to but we couldn't. There was just so much to be done, others where homeless, had lost loved ones-crying wouldn't help. Our bodies just switched to zombie mode-work, work, work-do what has to be done...eating when we were reminded to.
People asked me how I was doing and I just answered "I'm OK". I was not OK but I didn't know what I was or how I felt and 'OK' seemed to satisfy them anyway. The truth is my heart literally ached (not Over acting here), I couldn't relate any story without breaking down in tears, I choked, holding tears back whenever I heard survival stories. I was barely holding myself together-we all were.
Everywhere you go, that's all you hear-how people watched their neighbors disappear with the current, how a mother accidentally let go of her child and watched her cry 'mamaaaa' as the waters took her, how families were separated and still couldn't find each other. In jeepneys, everyone just stared at nothing, absorbed in their own thoughts.
At meetings, brothers had to pause, silently sobbing when they prayed. Songs were sung 'softly' everyone trying their best not to cry but tears still run down our faces. Nobody was prepared and few hands went up. Everyone was trying to absorb the material and comfort themselves. It was just too overwhelming-even in the positive sense. Witnessing how Jehovah's organization responds in such situations and how Jehovah really takes care of His people is more than words can describe.
Sleep came hard. I'd lie awake at night exhausted but scared to fall asleep and have to wake up in waist deep water. I'd keep on thinking how I'd get to the roof if ever it happened. I'd be replaying in my mind all the stories I'd heard and putting myself in their shoes. Would I have survived? Was I 'ready' to die? Would Jehovah remember me if I did? Could I live with such horrors in my mind?
Days passed fast. I can't really remember what happened from Monday to Friday. But I do remember the Comfort talks where on Tuesday. Supposedly for those 'directly affected' by the flood but we all needed comfort and how many dry eyes there were afterward-probably none. It's like everyone wished they could stay and just be with Jehovah's people so they did stay up to really late. It felt like a mini assembly during the thousand year reign, just after Armageddon.
I sometimes wish people really understood how it feels to be in such a situation but at the same time I'm glad they don't.
emz...thank u for writing these....they show the clearest picture(like motion picture)about what had happened..i needed to know because i needed to understand. i did. i feel broken...i failed to communicate to many of you...im sorry...its really tragic.
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